Some of you may have seen me on Twitter yesterday saying I was low and had a bad day. I am off work at the moment. This all started with a change of routines and other things at work that sent me into a real spiral several things all happening at once is to much for me to cope with, so I have been off for a few weeks. I had seen an event and other stories in Sheffield. I rarely go to Sheffield, but we have been going early morning as I struggle with crowds and have been getting the tram, so I decided in my silly wisdom I may drive park up, and there is a new food hall I want to try at some point. But it had opened a week or two ago. Anyway I even paid for the parking but woke up yesterday and my mood has been low I also was struggling with the factor how busy it would be. If I go places alone, I always zone out with headphones and avoid crowded places, as I recall struggling with them. So I decide to cancel the trip which I was real annoyed with as I had let myself down so that was maybe the final straw on mental health yesterday was a tough day I was struggling all day. Hence, post on Twitter. In hindsight the fact I am putting in for an autstic diagnosis will explain a lot my routine in going places which is tend to be very early and going before the crowds get there. Changing too much is why I am off work, struggling to cope with work changes. Anyway. I sat and let amanda know how low I was which helped a bit I am going try get talking therapy with work. I struggle in most social situations I always thought it was just natural shyness, but in hindsight, it was maybe just the fact I am autistic and small talk is something I struggle with. I feel since I decided to talk about how I struggle with things like changes, breaking a routine like going on the tram but then think it is ok to drive to Sheffield like that. Then there is also how I struggle to talk in social situations. I may have worn a mask until I saw how much it affected me. I am constantly overwhelmed and often struggle with many small things. Anyway, I told Amanda I would try to say more; she is my rock. So I hadn’t sleep well but I want to make up for yesterday we head to Southwell a small town about an hour from us my best friend said He liked going there isn’t a lot there but a few shops the Minister and it is where the first Bramley apple was grown. It was also where Charles the first spent his last night, and  Byron lived there for a while. It also had a nice little second-hand bookshop. Anyway, we headed over, had a look in the bookshop books below, and also visited the minister’s, originally built in 1099 and extended over the years. Amanda brought me an angel keyring as she feels I need a guardian angel at the moment I think I do but today was better than yesterday. I will be trying to do some more reviews for Woman in translation month but I have cut my good reads and storygraph target back this may help.I just wanted to explain what is going on. This isn’t me looking for pity. I just want to clarify, as a man at a later age, that you may have had a condition your whole life that meant a lot of things in my past. Would have been easier and explain situations and just the way my life has panned out any way I am on the start of the journey to be diagnosed I have done all the tests out there which clearly show the tendency for being autistic. I am taking life one day at a time at the moment.