Some of you may have seen me on Twitter yesterday saying I was low and had a bad day. I am off work at the moment. This all started with a change of routines and other things at work that sent me into a real spiral several things all happening at once is to much for me to cope with, so I have been off for a few weeks. I had seen an event and other stories in Sheffield. I rarely go to Sheffield, but we have been going early morning as I struggle with crowds and have been getting the tram, so I decided in my silly wisdom I may drive park up, and there is a new food hall I want to try at some point. But it had opened a week or two ago. Anyway I even paid for the parking but woke up yesterday and my mood has been low I also was struggling with the factor how busy it would be. If I go places alone, I always zone out with headphones and avoid crowded places, as I recall struggling with them. So I decide to cancel the trip which I was real annoyed with as I had let myself down so that was maybe the final straw on mental health yesterday was a tough day I was struggling all day. Hence, post on Twitter. In hindsight the fact I am putting in for an autstic diagnosis will explain a lot my routine in going places which is tend to be very early and going before the crowds get there. Changing too much is why I am off work, struggling to cope with work changes. Anyway. I sat and let amanda know how low I was which helped a bit I am going try get talking therapy with work. I struggle in most social situations I always thought it was just natural shyness, but in hindsight, it was maybe just the fact I am autistic and small talk is something I struggle with. I feel since I decided to talk about how I struggle with things like changes, breaking a routine like going on the tram but then think it is ok to drive to Sheffield like that. Then there is also how I struggle to talk in social situations. I may have worn a mask until I saw how much it affected me. I am constantly overwhelmed and often struggle with many small things. Anyway, I told Amanda I would try to say more; she is my rock. So I hadn’t sleep well but I want to make up for yesterday we head to Southwell a small town about an hour from us my best friend said He liked going there isn’t a lot there but a few shops the Minister and it is where the first Bramley apple was grown. It was also where Charles the first spent his last night, and Byron lived there for a while. It also had a nice little second-hand bookshop. Anyway, we headed over, had a look in the bookshop books below, and also visited the minister’s, originally built in 1099 and extended over the years. Amanda brought me an angel keyring as she feels I need a guardian angel at the moment I think I do but today was better than yesterday. I will be trying to do some more reviews for Woman in translation month but I have cut my good reads and storygraph target back this may help.I just wanted to explain what is going on. This isn’t me looking for pity. I just want to clarify, as a man at a later age, that you may have had a condition your whole life that meant a lot of things in my past. Would have been easier and explain situations and just the way my life has panned out any way I am on the start of the journey to be diagnosed I have done all the tests out there which clearly show the tendency for being autistic. I am taking life one day at a time at the moment.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been down and experiencing some hard times. I know you’ll get through it in time, though I hope that time will be short. I’m not on Twitter anymore, so I hadn’t seen what was going on, so thank you for sharing it here. I’ll be thinking of you.
I wish I had something wise to say that might help. But I just wanted to say I hope the better days are here very soon for you. Take care.
I hope sharing some of your struggles and articulating how you are feeling so honestly and eloquently has helped you to have compassion on yourself, and can be part of your journey towards greater self-awareness and a meaningful, mentally strong life. I feel confident that your post will be helpful for many others, particularly those who struggle with some similar issues. Modern life is often so over-stimulating and fast paced that it is no wonder we find things challenging.
I do hope that you can find a way to move to a better place soon. Thank you for sharing.
So sorry to hear that things are a bit rubbish at the moment and I hope you feel better soon, Stu. Take your time and take it easy. You at least had a nice trip out and some good book finds which I hope will lift you.
Sorry to hear that things have been rough lately. I understand and have had some struggles too. I have found sharing helps ease the clouds and I hope you find this too. Be well.
I’m sorry to hear this, Stu, you had been going so well.
I hope you get the help you need. My best wishes to Amanda too… the way you two look after each other is wonderful.
If I may, I would give you one small piece of advice. I noticed you wrote about having reading targets. Don’t just cut them back, get rid of them altogether because you don’t need anything that adds pressure. You love reading and writing and you don’t need targets to inspire you to do it.
(Goodreads nags about targets because it’s marketing books, so I have a target of 1 (one), which of course I achieved ages ago, just to get rid of the reminders.
Take care, Lisa x
Sorry to hear that – here’s to feeling better soon.
Very sorry to hear that – and I know that there’s not much I can do or say to help. Hope you manage to get some help and know that I’m always here as a sympathetic ear, having had some of these struggles myself.
Talking therapy has helped my son enormously so I hope you find it helpful too, good luck in the days ahead.
I hope you see some improvement soon x
Sending you hugs, and I hope that you get the help you need to restore your balance soon. We’re all here should you need to off-load on us. x